Reality Check

After supper this evening, we had a lengthy family discussion about the girls coming home. How will life change? What might it be like? We (and especially Berny) tried to prepare the kids for just how tough it could be. It was really a session of taking off the rose-colored glasses, and digging into the grime of reality. We are preparing for good things and joys, of course! But we are also preparing for at least six months of potential gut wrenching adjustment and struggle. It is certain that the girls will grieve... not so certain is how they (and our other children) will deal with it all.

From what I've read and experienced, it seems common for families to have a VERY difficult time for the first three months, downgraded to difficult time until six months, and, finally, some sort of new normal by about one year. Of course, for some the honeymoon doesn't seem to end, and life is one of those desired 'happily-ever-afters.' We're voting for that.


This very humorous (while at the same time realistic) list was posted on our adoption forum today by a newly adoptive parent:

Reflections on the First Week:

1. Seven oranges in one day exceeds the advisable limit of citrus fruits for a 42 pound little girl.

2. "Mama" is a sweet word until you've heard 10,000 times before 10 am.

3. A small Ethiopian and a large canine, both with a penchant for peanut butter and cornbread, can quickly form a symbiotic relationship.

4. One little girl can double a family's grocery bill.

5. We should have invested in peanut stock. And oranges.

6. "Ey ishye" (Look, OK?) can get old after a few days, especially when paired with "Mama." See 2.

7. Passing gas is a universal bonding ritual among children.

8. The week you bring home your child is not a good week for your cleaning help to quit. It is also not a good week to care.

9. No matter how prepared you think you are, YOU ARE NOT.

10. Ethiopians have very beautiful words for very nasty bathroom results.

11. Red patent leather shoes DO, in fact, go very nicely with pink pajamas.

12. Release your vanity and raise your pain threshold before you let your 6 year old braid your hair.

13. We are not teaching Mati how to curse. She's learning how to say"shirt," thank you very much.

14. Sofa gymnastics - more fun than you remember.

15. Panic is a natural, if unwelcome, response to sleeplessness, jetlag, travel to a 3rd world country, and, oh yes, bringing a new child into the family.

16. When experiencing panic, read Melissa Fay Greene's article on post-adoption depression. Repeat as necessary.

17. It is, in fact, supposed to be a happy thing. Reminding yourself of that helps immensely.

18. When in doubt, pass the chocolate around.


Finally, I found a new photo of the girls today. Ordinarily I'd be bouncing with excitement... but this photo of our beautiful three shows Ed with a rather large, white bandage above her right eye, and noticeable swelling/shiner of the same eye. What in the world???

Anna saw it and said, "Maybe she's just as good at hurting herself as I am." Is it possible that the same self injury genes A inherited from Uncle Clarence have already spread over to Ed? (you know... the "do everything with the highest possible intensity, which carries a fairly high risk of being permanently maimed" gene) *gasp*